When you are being flooded with bad news, how does one focus on good things? Let’s be honest, sometimes in our lives, the “good news” of Christmas is totally overshadowed by personal news feeds. Perhaps an employer gave you a pink slip, or a potential employer said no. Maybe you received a news flash that a relationship is going deep south. Is your doctor continually giving reports of serious new problems? How do you stay positive in these cases? I can’t say that I’ve mastered this ability, since I’ve been known to wig out because of a traffic jam. I do confidently proclaim, however, that in my own life and in the lives of many others, I have seen the power of God lift a spirit, even in the bleakest circumstances. You see, God is not just a nice idea, HE IS A LIVING GOD! He delights to show up when we are at the bottom. He allows humbling trials and chronic weaknesses to show us how strong He can be on our behalf. Consider and take Him up on these offers:

1) He promises a “peace that surpasses all understanding” in Philippians 4:7. What does that mean? This is the type of peace where you marvel at how in the world someone can be so calm. But this peace is not of this world, it is supernaturally provided.

2) He offers in Ephesians 3:9, that we can know or experience a “love which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.” This means the love of God will literally saturate every fiber of our being. We can actually be filled with warm, uplifting love, not just intellectually aware of the fact that He loves us.

3) And joy, that elusive joy. Everyone wants it. God provides it free. Jesus said in John 15:11,  “These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.” This joy is not only from God, it is His joy. I don’t think God gets down in the dumps. I’ll take His joy any day.

This Christmas, no matter what circumstances you are in, look for His supernaturally supplied resources. The gift of Jesus Christ at Christmas keeps on giving. That is always good news, all year round. My sincerest prayers and thoughts go out to all of those who are in crisis during this Christmas season. We are thinking about you! You are not alone.

This may be surprising, but it is common for cancer survivors to struggle with depression after being declared cancer free. Now you might wonder, “They had their prayers answered, so what could possibly be the problem?” Many people expect survivors to be all chirpy. In the last three decades, the number of cancer survivors in the United States has tripled and is growing by 2% each year. In 2004, there were an estimated 10.7 million cancer survivors, representing 3.5% of the United States population. But oncologists and psychologists are only now becoming aware that mild to moderate depression in survivors is common.

Drawing from my own experience and also other warriors we’ve encountered, I’d like to offer reasons happiness can elude the survivor. Then I’d like to suggest some biblical pointers on how to handle these post-war blues.

1) Fear. Immediately after being declared cancer free, the thought that the cancer could recur is never far from consciousness. Fear lies in wait and rears up at the first sign of a new or old pain.

2) Adrenaline letdown. For many, there is a sort of post-traumatic stress syndrome after their cancer battle. Returning to “civilian life” is not as easy as one might think.  Many patients literally fought for their life. They were all jacked up and on guard constantly. After the battle, it is truly difficult to relax, and recovery takes time.

3) Literal battle scars. Surgeries, chemo and radiation all take their toll and leave a mark. The potential list of scars is lengthy: neuropathy from chemo (painful tingling of nerves in fingers and toes and feet), burns from radiation, loss of limb function, weight gain and lasting medication side effects. Withdrawal from mood altering pain management drugs can be another factor in being down. For privacy reasons, some scars may never be shared by survivors, such as issues pertaining to sexual matters.

4) Figurative battle scars. Battle fatigue is often rampant for survivors. Chemo and other drugs depress the immune and nervous systems, it is no wonder they also depress the emotions. The grieving of lost time and opportunities with loved ones is very common. Pain-filled flashback memories can haunt the survivor at first. Often sadness due to continued or new tensions in relationships impacts the survivor as well. Normalizing relationships is never easy.

5) Purposelessness. The survivor often is paralyzed by big picture questions, “What does this all mean? How should I live now?” Life after cancer can prove so mundane, empty, boring and vacant. Priorities now must be realigned back to normal, and the survivor is often uncertain as to how to define “the new normal.”

6) Support system changes. Often supporters move on, leaving the survivor to process the aftermath of cancer  on their own. I really needed to talk, but I soon realized that not everyone wanted to listen. Expectations from work, spouse and life often return like a flood, making it clear to the survivor that the kid gloves are off. He or she must pull it together and look to contribute fully again.

So what advice does the Bible give?

1) Pray and Trust. The Bible says to cast our anxiety on the Lord (1 Peter 5:17). Jesus said we can’t add even one day to our lives, so we should trust Him completely with our longevity.

2) Number your days. Moses said, “Teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12). Moses suggests we make each day count for God. Following the Lord on a daily, even a moment by moment basis, is wise living advice for all. The martyred missionary, Jim Elliot, once said, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep, to gain what he can never lose.”

3) Talk or write it out. Find a support group or some other survivors and talk it over. One of the most healing steps for me was to write a book. Many people journal and write prayers to the Lord. These activities can help to make sense of the entire experience. Reading other’s stories still helps me today. If you are a survivor, write us and I will send you my book – My Stronghold, maybe it will help you.

4) Practice the Presence of God. There is no one who can heal our hurts and memories like the Lord. He can “restore the years the locusts have eaten” (Joel 2:25). In other words, He can make up for our losses and lost time. I think the best way He does this is by making each moment special with Him and others. So the Lord, who was our Stronghold in the midst of the storm, can continually hold us up and heal us as we live out full lives for Him.

The “new normal” for the survivor and all of us should be living moment by moment in dependence and closeness to the Lord. Every moment is sacred, whether we are doing some good deed or raking leaves. That is the sheer excitement of walking with Christ. We get to live each day with Him and through Him!

It may seem foolish to cut back vine branches to produce more and better grapes. Yet pruning is a centuries old practice of vinedressers. Sometimes after pruning, grapes don’t return in force for two full years.

In the same way, the Lord allows “counterproductive” cutbacks in our lives. It could be a job loss, health issue or a struggle in a relationship. With pruning, situations may vary, but pain is usually involved. So we tell Him, “Lord, You don’t understand; I could be so much more productive if You would only change this circumstance… today!” I’m glad He doesn’t take orders like some genie in a bottle. He really is better at being God.

We may conclude trials signify He is angry with us. Yet Jesus stated just the opposite. The reason He prunes those who bear some fruit is to enable them to produce more. In His words:

John 15:1-2 -  “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit.”

So what does He accomplish with pruning? In short, dependence.

John 15:4-5 -  “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”

The Lord is obviously not impressed with our self-generated attempts to serve Him. Unattended vine branches can have rapid, but mostly worthless growth, yielding few and low quality grapes. In the same way, apart from Him, our relentless activity is worthless, producing no genuine spiritual fruit. Unless we consciously depend on the life of Christ within to produce fruit, we can do “nothing.” Wait, nothing? Nothing of value. He is dogmatic on this matter of source. So, are we living off His life, or our own paltry human strength?

First things first though; we can’t depend upon the life of Christ, if He is not inside us. Maybe someone reading needs to take that first step of receiving Christ into your life. He enters in by invitation, as He says in John 1:12-13, “But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.” More on receiving Christ here.

So we might tie together the concepts of pruning and dependence in this way: He allows hardships to bring us to the end of our own strength, and to encourage us to draw resources from  Him. This explains why we find ourselves helpless to change frustrating circumstances, because it is only in our weakness and desperation that we switch over to Christ as the source of life. So don’t fight the trials, whatever they may be. Sure,  ask Him to remove them, but realize they are not senseless. They teach us to abide in Christ, and we only discover the fullness of life through Him. This is true: I heard it from the grape vine.

Scripture quotations taken from the NASB(c).

I’ve had some blogger’s block recently. I think I’ve been resisting writing on a topic I’m “supposed” to discuss, but I’d rather avoid. I am not afraid of controversy. I’ll mix it up when necessary, but just mentioning this issue may be painful to some who are suffering. You’ll understand what I mean.

First, some background. After one of my blog entries, “Getting What you Deserve,” I received a comment that basically said some doctors and a pastor were researching the connection between cancer and bitterness. The “evidence” presented was that bitterness  almost always caused cancer in certain areas of the body, all directly related to the target of the person’s bitterness. Normally I would write off such a quacky and cruel notion, but I recently encountered this concept again in another variation, so I feel compelled to address it here. I’ll stick with God’s “research.” It’s conveniently packaged in the Bible.

Let’s start with Job (his story is found in the book of Job in the Old Testament). Though his life was examined with great scrutiny by demons and the Divine, the Lord declared him righteous. So why then did Job soon find himself battling a severe skin condition that covered him with painful boils? It’s undeniable – Job’s poor health had no connection with bitterness or secret sin. For days his friends displayed mock compassion by sitting silently with him, ostensibly to “earn the right” to rip him to pieces. They ultimately revealed their judgmental hearts by accusing him of secret sins. They begged him to open his eyes. God was surely punishing him for something. In the end, God rebuked those “friends” for their uninformed cruelty. Job’s story should forever cause us to withhold spoken or unspoken accusations on the roots of others suffering. Yet there’s more…

Judgmental thinking about the exact roots of sickness was pervasive in Jesus’ day as well. The gospel of John reveals how Jesus corrected this tendency to view suffering as retribution.

John 9:1-3  – As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

Amazingly, this question was not posed by a pagan crowd or the judgmental Pharisees, but by Jesus’ loyal followers. This shows how deeply ingrained this teaching was in the minds of even the “spiritual” folks. To them, blindness was a direct punishment for sin – case closed. The only question was whose sin was being punished. Since this man had been blind from birth, the disciples wondered if perhaps one could sin in the womb. If pre-birth sin was ruled out, they reasoned the man’s parents must have sinned and were being punished. Jesus turns the whole argument on its head by stating that this blindness was not a punishment at all, but rather an opportunity for God to show off His glory. More still…

The apostle, Paul, had a serious eye condition that apparently necessitated seeking treatment in Galatia.  Bible students might believe Paul traveled there to plant a church, but that was not at all Paul’s initial intent.

Galatians 4:13-15 – But you know that it was because of a bodily illness that I preached the gospel to you the first time; and that which was a trial to you in my bodily condition you did not despise or loathe, but you received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus Himself.  Where then is that sense of blessing you had? For I bear you witness that, if possible, you would have plucked out your eyes and given them to me.

Fortunately for the Galatians, they did not assume Paul’s illness was a punishment for sin. Had they judged and resisted him, they would have missed their opportunity to embrace Paul and his eternal message of the grace and love of Jesus Christ. There’s more, but for another blog post.

I am a huge fan of letting go of bitterness, and turning from secret sin. We should always examine our lives and deal with sin, whether we’re sick or healthy. But please beware of linking other people’s sickness to their sin. God has demonstrated that He uses sickness to forge relationships and to show off His glory! Leave judgments to Him. If God’s policy was to punish all sin with sickness, we’d all live in a hospital!

Scripture quotations taken from the NASB(c).

Among the rewards for winning the Tour de France or The Masters, are coveted articles of clothing – the yellow jersey and the green jacket. Cyclists and golfers invest enormous time, money and effort into winning these prizes. Dallas Cowboy, Duane Thomas, put winning in perspective after Super Bowl VI. When asked what it was like to win the “ultimate” game, he said, “If it’s the ultimate [game], how come they’re playing it again next year?” Duane was right, earthly rewards eventually lose their impact. Man’s accolades will give way to God’s eternal approval. There are two eternal rewards that deserve our time, money and effort and both are symbolic articles of clothing. The first is free:

1) Get a free white robe as soon as you enter heaven*. This white robe symbolizes the complete removal of our sin.  We can be forgiven only through faith in the work of the Lamb, Jesus Christ. Through His sacrificial death on the cross He paid the penalty for our sin. So accept and receive Him as your personal Savior, and He will cleanse you, and gladly welcome you into heaven.

Revelation 7:9-10 – After these things I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could count, from every nation and all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, and palm branches were in their hands; and they cry out with a loud voice, saying, “Salvation to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb.”

2) Get the crown of life for faithfully enduring suffering for the sake of Jesus Christ. During tough times, it is easy to drift away from God. We lose interest because He seems distant or powerless to change our circumstances. Our disillusionment can even cause us to sin. Our trials can lead us to a deeper relationship with Him and He will reward us for remaining faithful.

James 1:12  – “Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.”

Hang in there if you are suffering – it will all make perfect sense when the crown is placed on your head. If you haven’t picked up your free white robe, what in this world are you waiting for?

*Click here for more info on how to get to heaven.

Scripture quotations taken from the NASB(c).

Have you ever seen a news article about a state government wanting to notify citizens of  millions of dollars of unclaimed money? Supposedly, money is often left behind in bank accounts, escrows and insurance policies, etc. While trying to find out how much unclaimed money is on the table for this article (over $32 billion), I ran across a nationwide search engine, so I punched in my last name. No lost treasure for me, but quickly found seven relatives and a couple friends listed. I was amazed to learn that 1 in 8 U. S. adults have unclaimed property.

I wonder how many unclaimed blessings are being left on the table. Only the Lord could calculate that number, but it must be astronomical. Probably the most unused blessing in my life is comfort. The Lord continues to chip away at my insistence to tough it out alone. For the last twelve years, the Lord’s classroom for me has been dealing with chronic pain including a tail bone broken in two places, Stage IV metastatic melanoma (maybe in a different category but it still hurt), an extruded back disc and  Eagle’s Syndrome – twice. I know there are a lot of us out there who can use more comfort for many different reasons. The good news is there is a fountain of comfort that we can claim.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 -  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction…

How do we tap into this comfort?

Missing something?

1) Realize the purpose of troubles is to discover more of God. Suffering can be hard, but it is never in vain when we turn to Him. Peter wrote that the testing of our faith has a very beneficial outcome.

1 Peter 1:8 -  Though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory.

2) He went to a lot of trouble to identify with our struggles. God’s comfort is there for the taking and He really can relate. One reason the Father sent His Son to become a man was to assure us that He can identify with our sorrow and grief. In chapters 4 & 5 of Hebrews, the author tells us that Jesus understands weakness and what it is like to suffer. In the midst of Isaiah’s description of Jesus’ sufferings on the cross that lead to His death, He emphasizes this was not Jesus’ first encounter with pain.

Isaiah 53:3 – A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.

3) Don’t be inconsolable. We may not really want to be comforted. We may be angry about our circumstances. We can hold a “comfort strike,” as if we can manipulate Him into giving us a circumstantial break. We only punish ourselves with this attitude. We need to soften up and allow Him to comfort us.

4) The amount of comfort He provides matches the amount of our suffering. We may be tempted to fear that the suffering we experience is too much to handle, especially if we are going through a traumatic illness or relationship troubles. The Lord is equal to any task, so press Him for a full measure of comfort. He welcomes our boldness.

2 Corinthians 1:5 - For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.

5) Don’t get caught up in false comfort’s. The world and the devil want to trap us into seeking comfort in all the wrong places. The list of alternatives is infinite because anything can be a substitute for the Lord. The usual suspects are drugs, alcohol, materialism and sex outside of a man-woman marriage. But any practice can be a substitute for the Lord if we make it our primary source of encouragement. So be careful out there, and guard your heat, because we are easily addicted to alternatives.

Don’t leave His unclaimed blessings on the table. You won’t have to search very far to find them.

If you are going through cancer - contact us at Stronghold Ministry and let us know so we can pray for you and comfort you.

*Scripture quotations taken from the NASB(c).

At some point during the TV show, Extreme Makeover, Homeowner Edition, my wife, Terri, will look over at me and ask, “Are you crying?” No! Must be something in my eye. I honestly think it is difficult not to cry. The show typically highlights the rough living conditions of a selfless individual who takes care of the sick, infirmed or bereaved, while simultaneously caring for their own large families. So the cast and volunteers tear down the old home and build a customized mansion for the grateful family. If that doesn’t tug at your heartstrings, then… go watch your Simpsons. There is one recurring scene in the show, however, that always makes me cringe. The bullhorn guy, Ty, explains that the reason the family is getting this royal treatment is because they deserve it.

Attitudes haven’t changed much in two thousand years. Jesus’ disciples informed Him that a Roman centurion, whose slave was very ill, deserved to be healed (Luke 7:1-10). The man had evidently been kind to Israel by building their house of worship — in the Temple Edition of Extreme Makeover. When Jesus wanted to visit the slave at his home, the centurion refused because he was “unworthy”. So Jesus healed his slave from a distance and marveled aloud at his faith, “I have not seen such great faith even in all of Israel.” Apparently, great faith entails a humility that we don’t deserve anything from God. We don’t deserve that He should enter our homes, let alone bless us there or give us a new one! I don’t want to treat the Lord like He is my cosmic bell hop. I need to learn that God “owes” me absolutely nothing. In fact, because of my countless sins, all I really deserve is eternal punishment. Are you getting what you deserve in life? Hope not.

The other day, I received a question so common, I want to talk about it here. From our website’s contact form at www.mystronghold.org/Contact.html: “How can u deal with the depression that this illness causes?” I assume this was in reference to my battle with Stage IV metastatic melanoma, which the questioner was battling as well. Yet  depression is common with any cancer.

So based on watching other patients and dealing with my own depression during my cancer fight, here is my advice:

1) Give yourself a break.
Many cancer patients, myself included, beat themselves up for feeling down, which only makes them feel worse. But my goodness,  cancer causes such high stress levels. When we consider all the elements of battling cancer, we find a perfect storm for depression. There are chain reaction struggles that actually cycle. First the pain; then pain pills; then constipation from the pain pills; then enemas for the constipation; then hemorrhoids from the enemas; then pain from the roids; then back to square one. And chemo is an emotional depth charge – the vomiting; hair falling out; losing too much weight; looking at the ashen, emaciated face in the mirror. No wonder we get depressed!  It is natural to feel very sad. If you don’t feel sad when battling cancer, I would say that is a sign of emotional unhealthiness.

2) Find an anti-depressant that works for you.
In general, I am not real big on anti-depressant drugs. But since I was  taking drugs that suppressed and depressed my entire being to treat the cancer, I decided not to hesitate in taking something chemical to counter this side effect. The drug which worked best for me was ativan, also called lorazepam. Keep searching with your doctor until you find one that works well for you. Not all oncologists routinely probes for cancer related depression. So especially if you are coping well on the outside with your depression, you will probably need to ask for a prescription.

3) Turn to the Lord and open up all your feelings to Him.
I have noticed when reading the patriarch, Job, and the authors of the Psalms, including King David,  that they often had symptoms of what we might call clinical depression – sleeplessness; constant tears; wanting to die; total hopelessness. They didn’t bury how they felt, they let it out, and faced the emotions squarely with God. He loves to show Himself in the midst of our pain and struggles. Your tendency might be to turn or drift away from Him in this turmoil, but actively turn towards Him instead, even if you feel angry. He can handle your negative emotions, and He already knows your thoughts anyway. Be sure to ask Him for a response, and then listen – He speaks in many different ways.

4) Talk to people who understand and ask for support.
Find a support group, phone partner or a crisis counselor or call us at Stronghold Ministry (Call toll free – 877-230-7674). Depression can make us feel so isolated and alone, but you will be surprised how effectively others can help lighten your load. Don’t be too proud to ask for help. If someone really encouraged you, don’t hesitate to ask for a repeat connection. If you think someone’s presence would help you, risk letting them know, even if they haven’t had cancer. “Could you come sit with me and talk? I would really enjoy hanging out with you during this time.” Or, ask someone to read to you. Don’t sit and pout that someone you need hasn’t come on their own. ASK FOR HELP.

5) Make sense of your struggle.
To help make sense of your sufferings and get an eternal perspective on their purpose, I strongly recommend a book called, “Streams in the Desert”. This book helped me see God’s higher purposes in our suffering. He is not a masochist in the sky, delighting in our suffering; nor is He ignoring our plight. He is  good – all of the time. This book has helped me and many others, so pick up a copy. You can get it on Amazon, or on our website – click here.

Sometimes in action movies, the lead character experiences such pain and obstacles, you wonder how he could possibly survive. Yet, you know he will, because he is the lead character. The movie, Deep Blue Sea, about killer sharks, is unusual, as story lines go. Just as Samuel Jackson’s character was giving “the speech”, providing everyone hope against incredible odds, he was swallowed by a shark. Granted, Samuel was not the movie’s only key character, but to me, the scene is one of the most shocking movie moments.

On Friday of that first Holy Week, I imagine Jesus’ followers felt similarly shocked, stunned and hopeless. By Sunday, history’s lead character had overcome His own death in the ultimate plot twist. In the great drama of God coming to earth, you didn’t think death would prevail, did you? Fortunately for us, a central reason He died and rose was to extend the Resurrection benefit to those who follow Him. This is some really great news and cause for great rejoicing on Easter and every day.

1 Thessalonians 4:14 – For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus.*

No matter how bleak things get, and even if the ultimate bad break occurs, remember the drama is not over until the credits roll on that final Resurrection Day. Then we will receive sickness free bodies, and be reunited with our loves ones and our Lord. The sequel is all about wonderful bliss, eternal bliss. So Happy Resurrection Day!

*Scripture quotation taken from the NASB(c).

We have a friend whose battling cancer right now. She and her husband had an experience with their dog which was full of symbolic meaning for me. Recently, her husband was giving instructions to the dog, but it refused to listen. It ran onto the street directly into the path of an oncoming car. The dog was pretty banged up in the collision, but managed to get up and start walking. When his master tried to reach down and scoop it up to nurse it back to health, it bit down on his hand and then limped off. The dog continued to ignore its master’s calls and ran away to hide. Amazingly, a couple of days later, they found the dog and began giving it the care it needed. All along, the dog’s master only had its well being in mind, but it thought differently. When you see this self-destructive behavior played out in a dog’s life, the folly seems so clear. But doesn’t this mirror us when we go it alone apart from God? We disobey, run away and reject His help.

Sometimes we want to run away from God

Just like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we can be deceived to believe that God is not totally good. That for some reason, He is withholding life’s finest blessings. And, when we encounter pain, which is often self-induced, we tend to bite the hand that is reaching to restore us. Today, remember this when you are tempted to drift away: God is really good, all the time. He has your best in mind!

Jesus said, “How often I wanted to gather your children together, just as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not have it! (Luke 13:34).

Scripture quotation taken from the NASB(c).

You’re driving to an important meeting and suddenly police reroute you onto some crowded backstreet. You cuss. C’mon, God heard you. Well… He’s heard me. I admit, I like predictability, a lot. I don’t like curve balls. But my wife and I were thrown a bender with the fire that broke out at our home during the first Stronghold Ministry tea (More about the fire in our Stronghold Ministry March newsletter). It was a small attic fire from a recessed light fixture overheating. No one got hurt, but water and fire fighting techniques totaled the kitchen. Now we are living in a hotel with our dog.

As with road detours, handling life detours is all about attitude. For now I am positive and flexible with this inconvenience. But I have been through tough times with me before and I can really whine. So I ask for your prayers for a rapid return home and chirpiness for me.

Upside: We get a new kitchen. I would probably be more excited about this if I were in there more.

The best upside: At the rescheduled tea, hopefully more people will hear the good news of God’s amazing ability to hold us up in crisis. When the fire broke out, our speaker, Chris Forbes, was sharing how helpless she and her family felt after the spread of her cancer. I felt helpless while watching  firemen whack away at our ceiling and walls and flooding the kitchen. But these events go to our core message at Stronghold: though we are out of control, He is in control. Still, I sometimes find myself wishing this truth could be embraced more academically and less experientially, if you know what I mean. Can’t I just sign an affidavit? “I really do agree that God is in control even when it seems like He is not. Signed, Joe.” Lesson mastered. But no, this lesson must be lived deeply.

Millions of people feel helpless about their cancer or crisis. Would they, would I, turn to the Lord as much without trials which bring me “to the end of myself”? My strength and wisdom fail and His begins. “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). So life, fire away, just try to get me there on time.

Scripture quotations taken from the NASB(c).

“You’re going to beat this.” That’s right, lose that line for good, especially with later stage warriors. It is a bold claim and easy to spout.  It exudes confidence, reinforces optimism and instills inspiration. So how could saying it possibly be a mistake? Unfortunately, it places the burden of ultimate victory squarely on the patient. They desperately want to be healed. They are probably doing more than you realize to get well, but having complete responsibility to get well can be overwhelming. And keep this in mind, no matter how tough your patient appears, most are much weaker than they let on. How do I know this? They tell me this in private and I often felt that way myself during my own battle. I hear it all the time; very few people grasp what the patient is going through.

Lance Armstrong seems to be the epitome of the triumph of the human spirit but living strong has its limits. Consider what his longtime coach and confidante Chris Carmichael said in an interview with USA Today:

“People believe that Lance is a tough guy: He beat cancer, he willed it away. They think he left this Earth and is invincible. That’s far from the truth. He has the same mortality as anyone else. He dealt with cancer the same way as anyone else. I saw him scared and fearful, with all the human emotions associated with that intense experience.”  (USA TODAY – 5/22/2002).

To really love someone in the midst of crisis we should follow Paul’s advice and “Weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). And, “To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak” (1 Corinthians 9:22). We tend to want to lift strugglers out of weakness with just a turn of a phrase. It rarely works that way. People need to feel unconditionally accepted, understood and supported, especially in a crisis. They need to look to the Lord more than to themselves.  If they have permission to be weak around you, ironically then they will be able to draw upon your strength and the Lord’s. “With the Lord’s help, you will beat this.”

Scripture quotations taken from the NASB(c).

Play along a moment and imagine you’re selected to be “God For A Day.” You’ll be granted absolute power for 24 hours. What will you do? Would you order up a luxury item or two (million) for yourself, friends and family? During their day, I think most people would eventually perform what they consider the ultimate act of good will – to remove suffering from the earth. No more poverty, disease, or bad guys. So why doesn’t God act in such a manner? He has the capabilities!

Some would argue He doesn’t actually have the ability to make such changes. Yet how could the One who called this complex universe into existence with just His Word be powerless to make comparatively lesser changes? Other people believe God is not good or compassionate after all. They reason, “If I were God, I would have done something about this mess long ago. What is He waiting for?”

In time, He will clean it all up, but for now there are more important matters than gifts and pleasures.  To God, we are like children, really small children with a bent towards self-centeredness. To Him, we are like the kid laying on the floor in the store kicking and wailing because he can’t have the candy or the toy. Now a wise parent knows that indulging such a child’s whims would render him very bratty. Our “grown-up” understanding about our real needs can be as deficient as the toddler who throws his tantrums.

While I am a big fan of God’s gifts,  suffering can have a high benefit in our lives. Denying a kid candy protects his health. Strict rationing of toys helps him realize he can be happy without them. God knows He risks our misunderstanding. We don’t tend to appreciate His discipline. Nor do we instinctively rejoice when He allows us to be mistreated or really sick. Yet an intense bout with adversity can open our eyes to life’s ultimate realities and help us shed our preoccupation with small things. I often connect with cancer patients about how God gained our undivided attention after our diagnoses. In the Bible a man named Job had the right attitude in the midst of his agonizing personal tragedy and illness:

“Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” (Job 2:10).

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked I shall return there. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD” (Job 1:21).

“I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; But now my eye sees You” (Job 4:25).

Ultimately, Job overcame his trials not because of God’s gifts, which had all been stripped away, but by God’s presence. He never goes away. Job realized God was worth loving all the time, regardless of his circumstances. We can have the very best any time, any place, any where – all because we can have Him, our Stronghold.

As for me, I’ll pass on being God for a day. There’s enough problems in the world.

Lord, help us trust your management of our lives. Teach us how to fight and when to rest. Most of all teach us to embrace the fact that You are God and empower us to trust You and Your goodness, even when we are hurting.

Scripture quotations taken from the NASB(c).