– By Terri Fornear
I have been trying to consistently take my little Westie dog (Flurry) for walks each day. She is such a happier animal when I do. Our walks consist mostly of me tugging her when she wants to stop and put her little mark on a moment of space. She usually wins. The other day she kept tugging and barking at me, trying to get me to go to be where she wanted me to be. I just looked at her and asked, “Who is taking who for a walk here?”
I had a picture of myself talking to myself. That’s how I feel when I sense things need to change – “I need to change.” I want to control the change.
I seem to go through three steps. First, Awareness that I need to change, and I want the change, and cry out to God for the change. This step puts me into the powerless position to receive from God. Acceptance is the next step – accepting God’s love for me right in the middle of my “tugging” time, but I want to skip it. I want change NOW! I want to take the Action step – NOW! Yet I first have to take God’s love for me in the acceptance stage. He accepts me when I cannot change. He loves me when I am powerless. He even loves me when I keep doing “it” wrong. He’s waiting for me to know His unconditional love in Jesus – a love that even sees enemies and takes up for them.
For if, when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! – Romans 5:10
I consistently pull my own chain to change. I don’t want to sit in GRACE. I want to make the change and be proud that I did it. Like Flurry, I want to be in control of my walk. Especially the parts that make me look good. I want to spend time fixing up my messes. I love Jesus’ love for me. He waits until I wear out. He loves me through my self-efforts and somehow HIS GRACE and Acceptance changes me.
Flurry always moves on and I love my little dog even during her times of tugging…