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The Hardest Person to Forgive

We have highlighted God’s liberating forgiveness and the importance of forgiving others. Yet the person most difficult to forgive might be you. Self-imposed guilt is common as we muddle through life. When coping with life’s upheavals, like cancer, the tendency to be rough on ourselves usually increases. Regrets, disappointments, bad choices, unmet goals, and past sins trouble our souls and wear out our bodies. David wrote of the effects of guilt, “My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer” (Psalm 32:4). When I was in the throes of my battle with cancer, I continually struggled with guilt, real and false, even though I was quite sure the Lord was holding nothing against me. So how do we overcome this self-imposed menace? Three suggestions:

1) Don’t set our righteous standards above God’s.
If God has forgiven us, who are we to continue to beat ourselves up? Are we more holy than God? Paul refused to try to establish a righteousness of his own. He resisted any suggestion of his own goodness. He was grounded in God’s mercy and grace, which is undeserved favor. “Not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith” (Philippians 3:9). So forgive yourself completely, as God in Christ already has! (This is true only if you have received Christ as Savior – more here).
2) Embrace the fact that we’re flawed.
I’m not providing an excuse for past sins, or permission for future sins. Instead this is a confession of reality: you and I are very imperfect. We’ve blown it, messed up, sinned, and misplaced our priorities. Paul repeated his admission of imperfection, “Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect” (Philippians 3:12), and, “Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet” (Philippians 3:13). We need to let go of pretending that we have it all together, and become comfortable admitting to ourselves that we are very much a work in process.
3) Live in the present.
Paul forced himself to let go of the past and move on to live passionately for Christ TODAY. We are powerless to change the past, but the present and future are another matter. “One thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13b-14). Imagine the folly of driving a car down the road while constantly staring at the rear view mirror! When we constantly look back we crash into things in the present. So start over today!

Let’s leave our mistakes, shortcomings and sins behind. Punishing ourselves cannot atone for our sins, only Christ can. So enjoy the exhilarating forgiveness of God, extend it to yourself!

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