When I was in seminary, the Pastoral Counseling course was taught by two Christian Psychiatrists who shared a popular inpatient clinic at a local hospital. Several of my fellow Pastors-in-training were thoroughly intimidated by psychiatry. One said, “I just want to know where to refer people.” Yet ironically, both professors kept saying, “90% of our patients could go home today if they would just forgive.” Who knew? There’s such freedom in forgiveness!
When I battled Stage IV melanoma, I took some hits requiring forgiveness. If you’ve fought or are fighting cancer, you might relate to some of these.
- I was misdiagnosed for 2.5 months. My primary said, “Whatever it is, it’s not cancer. It’s too soft to be cancer.”
- My onco strongly advised me not to do two treatments the Lord used to save my life.
- My expectations were dashed by the lack of support of certain people.
- Several post-cancer complications were misdiagnosed. One required a 3rd surgery to fix two botched ones.
- Then there’s the things people say to people fighting cancer … check out my 15 things you shouldn’t say to a person fighting cancer.
When we fight cancer, we have enough to navigate physically and emotionally without adding the stress of unforgiveness. After all, Ephesians tells us unforgiveness gives the devil a “foothold” in our lives, a military term for a base of operations of an enemy – in our own territory!
I realized the self-inflicted pain of unforgiveness could be as devastating to my soul as the cancer was to my body.
After Job’s friends brutally blamed him for the calamities that befell him, God asked Job to forgive them and to ask Him to bless them. God told his friends in Job 42:8, “So now, take seven bulls and seven rams, go to My servant Job, and sacrifice a burnt offering for yourselves. Then My servant Job will pray for you, for I will accept his prayer and not deal with you according to your folly. For you have not spoken accurately about Me, as My servant Job has.” So (they) went and did as the LORD said; and the LORD accepted Job’s prayer.
So how do I forgive?
- Recall the exact nature of the losses you suffered from those who hurt you.
- Remember God is way bigger than any person, pain, or loss.
- Release the person(s) from all damages and losses they caused you.
- Request God’s abundant blessings upon the person (Luke 6:28).
The highest reason to forgive is to extend the same grace and mercy we have received in Jesus Christ. “Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32). And keep in mind, God forgives us so much more than we will ever need to forgive others (Matthew 18:21-35).
Lord, give me the freedom and power to forgive from the heart everyone who has ever hurt me. And give me the freedom to truly bless them, wishing really good things in their lives.
How do we know if we are “in Christ” and OUR sins are forgiven? Go here!
